So there are a lot of movies coming out this year

I just feel like getting a list together of how much money I am basically going to lose this year.

February 5: District 13: Ultimatum

From Paris With Love

February 12: The Wolfman

February 19: Shutter Island

February 26: Cop Out

The Crazies

March 5: Alice in Wonderland

March 19: Season of the Witch (Maybe)

March 26: Clash of the Titans

April 2: Repo Men

April 9: The Losers

April 16: Kick-Ass

April 30: A Nightmare on Elm Street

May 7: Iron Man 2

May 14: Robin Hood

Takers

May 21: Shrek Forever After

May 28: Prince of Persia

June 11: The A-Team

The Karate Kid

June 18: Jonah Hex

Toy Story 3

July 9: Predators

July 16: Inception

August 13: The Expendables

August 20: Priest

August 27: Piranha 3-D (Awesome sauce!)

September 10: Resident Evil: Afterlife

That's as far as I went, but I imagine there are more. The Green Hornet, Harry Potter, Tron....

Either way. I'm gonna be broke.

Fuck.

-Newt

P.S. I'm too fucking tired to deal with formatting right now. Maybe later.

I hate The Biggest Loser

I'm not sure why I watch this show. I mean, I know why I used to watch the show. When I started on Weight Watchers it was sort of inspiring. Ok that's not entirely true. I basically liked to see everyone's before and after pictures. Now it's just annoying. Sooo much drama. At least 40% of the episode is crying or yelling. And at least once per episode, someone is educated on what Extra sugar free gum is (holy shit, what an amazing invention! Has the government been keeping this from people?!) But I still watch it. Why? Am I a glutton for punishment? Am I just an amazing moron? Let me know!

In other news, my girlfriend is freakin awesome. Last night she made baked chicken covered in bread crumbs and parmesan cheese, creamy parmesan risotto and green beans. And she weighed and measured everything out so I could calculate the total points (11, btw). It's nice to know that she supports me and will go out of her way to help me. And the dinner was restaurant quality. Seriously. Fucking. Delicious.

So is this the point of a blog. To write about whatever is on your mind even though it has no interest to anyone else in the world? Whatever, it's time for bed.

- Adam

We need more followers

I'm writing this blog for one reason only...to get more followers. We currently have only one - Newt's mom. If this was the Nielsens, that would count as 10,000 people. My goal is to double the number of followers we currently have.

Originally this entry was to be filled with trending topics from twitter, but why the hell are #LingerieDay and #NowPlaying trending topics? C'mon people, we're more interesting than that.

I will use this to attract other people who like #Aliens #baseball #DisneyWorld #boobs #gore #horrormovies #sex #Lost #KevinSmith #JossWhedon #Buffy #StarWars ... am I missing anything? If you like any of these topics, you are guaranteed to like this blog at least 20% of the time. And if you think about it, that's a pretty good percentage considering how many things in this world really suck.

So please, show your support for a couple of misfits on the coasts of America. Follow this blog, and drop us a comment or follow us on Twitter.

--Adam

There is a naked black man living in my phone.

So, I don't follow basketball. I don't know the first thing about it. I even wrote this entire thing about football and my boyfriend corrected me. So, anyway....back to the original programming. Apparently, Greg Oden had some nudie photos leaked. My friend @moiraine501 decided she wanted to see them. Since she was operating from an iTouch and not a computer, I somehow got nominated to find these pictures and send them to her. Voila. Awesome. I found them in under a minute and forwarded her the link. Nope. Not working on her iTouch. WHY?! So. I'm a good friend. I go back to the site with the giant black penis. Hit print screen on my laptop, paste it into paint, (cause I'm a technogadgeteer and have high quality programs like paint on my laptop), crop out the actual image, and then save it. Then...email it to my cell phone, and MMS it to her. Because that's what friends do, DAMNIT!

But now...there is a naked black man living on my phone.

Won't Jayson (My best male coworker friend that happens to be black) be mad it's not him.

-Newt

Nearly 3 months later

November 9th, 2009, my dog got hit by a car. His back right paw was degloved (The skin was literally...like peeled off) and he had some pretty severe road rash on one side. After 2 months of dealing with an infected leg, the vet recommended that his leg be removed. That was 3 weeks ago. Today he had his stitches removed, finally. DONE! No more problems. He still can't jump very well. But he runs, he hops a little, he plays, he rolls around, he makes his silly noises again. My dog is a fucking Jedi.

Btw. His name is Toby Wan Kenobi.

He will fuck you up.

-Newt

Mahalo Means You're Retarded (So says Adam the Jew)

Disney movies make me cry. I'm female, yes. I watch movies where people are gutted, body parts are cut off, explosions, blowing up of people and buildings. I can watch a actual autopsy on TV and be like oh nifty. But you throw an animated Disney movie at me and I blubber like a baby. It's pathetic. Lilo and Stitch...bawled. Finding Nemo....Bawled. Beauty and the Beast...(once I got over that hideous nose they saddled Beast with in human form)....bawled. Little Mermaid not so much, that bitch was spoiled rotten. Cinderella, I loved for the mice. I'm trying to collect Disney movies these days on DVD, and it's been an effort. I can't always afford them when they are released, and sometimes I don't know about it until it's too late. But eventually I will have them all. The problem is, I don't open them. In all actuality I should probably buy two copies at a time. One to keep and one to watch. I can watch Disney pretty fanatically. I think I've seen Mulan a good billion times or so. And that was back when it was on VHS. So there.

My neighbor loaned me Up on Blu-ray. I'm gonna cry. I know I'm going to cry. So I am kind of postponing it by writing this blog. A blog that has nothing to do with anything other than saying I'm a total pansy. And that, no matter how old I am, or what else I may watch on TV or at the theater, Disney will make me cry.

And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

-Newt

When I grow up I wanna be Galadriel

So, I work days. My boyfriend works nights. During the night, I receive periodic texts about how his evening is going, what he is up to, or not up to. It’s a great way to wake up, especially if he has a few drinks after work and gets sappy. Last night he wasn’t feeling too well so he stayed home from work and rested. And watched Lord of the Rings, and geeked out. And then told me about It this morning. So I told him I wanted to be Galadriel. She’s smoking hot, and got elf ears. If I ever went ‘the other way’, that might be the way I went. Fantasy elf and all.

My boyfriend on the other hand, wants to be Aragorn, or even Boromir, or Legolas (which cracks me up as I currently have a 3-legged dog that I call Leg-o-less). Or even Merry or Pippin. This does not bode well for our love life. Maybe I’ll change who I want to be to Arwen. That way I can at least hook up with my boyfriend, in this fictitious role-playing grown up land we’re going to. However, not Sam or Frodo….Apparently the sordid love affair between them weirds him out a little. It weirds me out too honestly. Just…you know…admit the love and move on. Closeted hobbits are probably not a good thing. Kinda makes you wonder who’s gonna be on top though?

Honestly I think since they are both rockin that hairy foot look, they’d both be bears…but they’ve got those clean shaven faces, so maybe they are cubs!?

I don’t know! I haven’t studied Hobbit Homosexuality lately.

Guess it’s never too late to start?

-Newt

I have no idea what Newt is talking about, creating a blog is easy.
Step 1: Have someone else suggest you do a blog and agree with them.
Step 2: Have said person find a good site for the blog and come up with a name. You may need to help come up with a name. Or at least pretend to.
Step 3: Throw out some useless ideas for any other questions this person may ask you. Eventually they will come up with their own answers. If he/she happens to like one of your answers, they are probably high on vicodin. But score, because then you can say you helped.
Step 4: Just start writing shit. it doesn't matter what you write really, because it's your blog. Now if you want other people to read it, you're fucked. Because now you have to be interesting and/or funny. You also have to learn how to spell.

-- Adam (The Jew)

Okay, so...Making a blog is a lot of fucking work. Jew and I have been at it for a good half hour now. I'm high on vicodin for my broken assbone, and he's an east coaster, so we're both out of it. He's Jewish (obviously) and thinks I am Newt from Aliens. (Now you know where the names come from, awesome right?). This is going to be our rants. Well probably mostly my rants, I am a lot funnier than he his. Now I want you all to know, this started because he sent me a link to a shirt. Again. And I want it. So feel free to purchase it for me. However, if you think this blog sucks, which it probably does, fuck you, and too bad. I intend to keep writing. Also, we are actually STILL making the stupid fucking blog name. He just suggested tigersnooze as our webaddress. I'm pretty sure he is slightly retarded now.

-Newt